Hazel's HOTmail: Makes Me Wanna Holler!

[Hazel Mills]

Dear Hazel,
When by boyfriend and I are making love, he is extremely noisy. He grunts, growls and talks so loudly that I am often distracted and lose my focus. A couple of times he burst into an uncontrollable laughter when he reached that critical moment. I live in an apartment complex and have received comments from my neighbor about the noise.
I’ve tried to be gentle when I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said that he would try not to be so loud. He did pretty good for a few days but then went right back to being loud again. I don’t know if he even realizes how loud he really is.
What else can I do to let him know how much this bothers me without hurting his feelings?
F.W. in Tampa, FL

Dear F.W.
I always suggest open, honest and caring communication with your lover. This situation is delicate and needs to be handled carefully in order to avoid making him feel self-conscious during his performance. You don’t want him to shut down completely and not enjoy lovemaking. You have to remember that the noise he makes while the two of you are in the throes of lovemaking is an indicator for how much he is enjoying himself. Although you didn’t say it in your letter, I don’t believe that you want him to be a silent lover just a much quieter one.
I believe you may be right to assume that he doesn’t realize how loud he becomes during sex. Talk to him again. This time, begin by letting him know all of the things that you adore about making love with him and encourage him to do the same. This is not the time to be coy. This is the time for uninhibited conversation between the two of you about the pleasure you give and receive from each other. But I warn you, all of this dirty talk could lead to excitement for you both and you’ll be back in bed before you even get to discuss the real issue. Also, try to discuss what things you wish the other would do differently. Don’t get your panties in a bunch if or when he says that there is something he wishes you did differently. After all, the focus should be on getting the most out of lovemaking and making it pleasurable for both parties.
You can also try turning up the volume on the stereo. Sometimes background noise helps. Tabletop water fountains are also a good idea and they create a calm and relaxing atmosphere. You should be able to find one for under $20.
And if all else fails, join him. I mean turn up your own volume and get noisy with him. When he growls, you growl louder. When he talks nasty, you talk nastier. When he hollers, you scream. Let go. But make sure that your noise level coincides with how good he’s making you feel or else it will sound as fake as it really is.
Hell, you may find that he starts to tell you that you’re too loud!

Hazel Mills
www.hazelmillsstories.com
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